How To Self Love When You Feel Like Self Harming
HOW TO SELF LOVE WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE SELF HARMING// In this video we talk about self harming behaviors like cutting, burning, hitting ourselves and explore the control agenda beneath the urge to self-harm.
Self-harm is one of the most misunderstood behaviors people engage in. It is often seen by others as a suicide attempt or a wish to kill ourselves, which is rarely the case, and can result in a lot of feelings of shame or secrecy as a result.
The control agenda (the desire to fix, change or get rid of the emotional experience we are having) is an impulsive response to inner discomfort that is central to the human condition. (We all feel the urge to escape emotional pain.) The problem with this is that emotional pain cannot be "fixed" in the same way as external problems we come across in life. Often, when we try to push away how we are feeling, it makes it grow or has difficult consequences.
Self harm is one example of an attempt to control the "problem" of how we're feeling, that actually becomes the problem itself. (The solution becoming the problem).
Self love views emotional pain as an event that is separate to the person. It's like a passing storm that we did not ask for and is not fully in our control. Because this emotional pain cannot be turned off like a light switch, self love is an acceptance practice that challenges us to treat ourselves with the patience, compassion and love we would give to any friend in the same situation.
Showing love to ourselves is a choice and a value-system for how we face inner adversity. It is the loving actions we take in the middle of emotional pain that helps us move through that pain without doing things that add additional suffering over time.
If you want to learn more about the fundamental skills behind any self love practice, I encourage you to watch my video:
What is Self Love in 2019: • WHAT IS SELF LOVE IN 2019? - Importance of...
If your urge to self harm stems from symptoms of depression you can also check out:
4 Self-Love Tips to Help Manage Depression: • 4 Self Love Tips to Help Manage Depression
**************************************
I'm Ashley Waknine, a registered mental health counselor intern and life coach making weekly videos about mental health and self-management.
CONTACT
Business email: [email protected]
FIND ME HERE
Website: https://www.ashleywaknine.com/
MUSIC - Courtesy of Soundstripe
B-ROLL FOOTAGE - Courtesy of Videoblocks
SOUND EFFECTS - Courtesy of Zapsplat
EDITING Equipment - Imovie, Canva, Keynote
COACHING: Wanna work with Ashley on your personal challenges? Ashley is accepting new coaching clients for 1:1 support at her South Florida office and through video conference online. Check out her website for more details.
**PLEASE READ**
If you or someone you know is in imminent danger, please go to the closest emergency room or call a local emergency number.