album of code
this is a collection of all my saved processing artwork. i used to have names for all of these pieces but i've lost them. these videos were originally formatted for instragram; this is why they are framed in a square.
ive been really tired lately. school work is getting harder and dedicating all of my energy to studying has become a little draining. i was recently freaking out about my japanese class because i was worried about one of the assignments that was graded. i had been studying for my math preliminary exam during the week and i had little time to study for japanese, and seeing a 6/10 on an assignment felt like death. for that past 7 weeks i have maintained As in all my classes, but the semester has come to a point were i have to restrategize where i dedicate my energy to. i am a math major, and i feel like i spend more time doing japanese than i do studying for math. this imbalance of where im spending my time has caused me so much headache and anxiety. the dilemma is: i want an A in math, but i also want an A in japanese. in my case, im starting to realize that some times it doesnt work this way. i honor my mental and physical health, and i need it to strengthen my curiosity and desire to learn. if this imbalance continues, something way worse than stress can manifest. i've restrategized: im going to dedicate more time to math and less time to japanese. i value math and i value the feeling that i get from doing it. i feel that math is my calling to this world, and i feel that the universe want me to connect it to something deeper. japanese is an intreset of mine, and although i value my interests, math is my core.
this video is just supposed to be a reminder that math is love. math is a product of nature, and to study math is to translate the stories of the universe. and much like english or japanese, math is a diverse language family, and it can be used to communicate thoughts and ideas. there are so many things that we dont know. it would be harmful to think that your personal well being can be disregarded. this death that i felt, it is a natural thing. deaths are deaths. deaths are transitions. deaths are opportunities for life. i was able to see this when i was much younger creating these videos. and now that i am here doing what i am meant to do. i look back at these videos to remind myself that i am here for a reason. these complexities can be untangled and there exists a path, a clear path, where the elements of complexity can be woven together neatly. it just takes time and understanding.
To dance with the stars above our lives,
I too, wish to become a singularity
To meet your gravity,
To meet your soul
Your beautiful complexity
Just this time
We matter
Just this time
Our love shines brighter than any nova