$stdout - Stonk Options
Lyrics below. I just want to get rich without working hard so that I can start a farm and work insanely hard. Is that too much to ask?
Look how many fake dollars I got
Might be 5 mil, or it might not
Might be a half mil or it might flop
I’m a real boss if you count my stock
Count non stop doing equity math
What if it’s more, or what if it’s half?
If I vest this by then what’s that?
With a strike price at six, what’s tax?
Hit my cliff, this is better than cash
Wait, there's a path where I owe money back?
Can’t think about that
Monopoly racks in my laptop bag
Got stacks in my equity grants
Got money, can’t touch with my hands
If it pans out, then I make hella bands
But don’t say “if”, that’ll ruin my plans
Check out my hypothetical dough
Tried to shop with it, they said no
I got confused, like bro don’t you know?
This s*** is gold, when we IPO
F*** USDs, I got ISOs
Long as the company don’t implode
I’m sure it won’t….right?
Daily I pray for liquidity
Waiting for profitability
I made it ma, I am a millionaire
I mean that in theory not literally
The calculating is killing me
The mystery’s causing me misery
What is the real probability?
What is this salary trickery?
Tryna get rich but not work that hard
Then I’ll leave tech, and work on a farm
Or do latte art in a coffee shop
But first, I’ma need to cash out
Look how many fake dollars I got
Might be 5 mil, or it might not
Might be a half mil or it might flop
I’m a real boss if you count my stock