10 Dangerous Thoughts Impacting Your Happiness
How many times have you told yourself you can’t achieve something, that you are a failure, that you are going to embarrass yourself? If you are anything like me; Too many times! These are automatic negative thoughts! Whilst it is natural to weigh up the pros and cons of a situation, some people fall in to a trap of letting their emotional brain lead every decision without applying any criticality.
The first step to stopping these automatic negative thoughts is to recognise their existence!
Read any intro to CBT or books that distill the general idea (I recommend "The Chimp Paradox" : https://amzn.to/2Zg0okb) of a rationale Vs. irrational brain and you will have an idea that our brain is in constant conversation. Part of our brain is led by emotion, part of brain is led by logic. In CBT a happy medium exists known as the wise-mind but right now you probably make most of your decisions through your overly emotional, erratic and reactive self and feel the desire to change that!
Whilst this part of brain sometimes pushes to make decisions based on positive emotions it also likes to sneak in irrational fear-led conclusions that, if we are not careful, can dictate the way we conduct ourselves.
By the end of this video you will be able to recognise 10 types of automatic negative thought - work out which frequently appear in your experience - and then you will start to consider how to move past them in a more rationale manner.
As you watch the video, try and recognise if you have experienced any of these automatic negative thoughts:
00:00 - Introduction
00:32 - Rational brain Vs Irrational Brain
01:27 - What you will learn
02:04 - Over generalisation. Using the evidence of one single event to dictate how future experiences will go. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen again & again.
“I failed my driving test once - I’m never going to be good enough to pass”
“The last time I asked someone on a date they rejected me - I will always be alone”
02:28 - Positivity Filter - focus on the negatives whilst ignoring the positives. This includes ignoring positive evidence that contradicts your negative view.
“She said she liked the present I got her but hasn’t tried it on yet. She must hate it”
“The grade was good but I can’t believe I made that spelling error - the tutor must think I’m an idiot!”
02:52 - All or Nothing - Binary Thinking - things are either good/bad, right/wrong. Viewing events as extremes with no middle ground.
“I can’t do it perfectly so I might as well not bother”
“This pimple makes me look so disgusting”
03:06 - Personalizing - taking responsibility for things that are not your fault. Feeling like everything people say or do is a direct reaction to you or somehow related to your actions.
“It’s been an hour and she hasn’t called me back. I must have said something to upset her”
“The roof is leaking - why does the world hate me so much?”
03:47 - Catastophizing - Disaster is imminent. The worse case scenario is the outcome you expect the most.
“I’m going to make a fool of myself at this party - no wonder no body likes me”
“I should have had this cough checked already - it might be cancer - it will be too late to treat now”
6. Emotional Reasoning - If things feel true they must be true; mistaking your feelings for facts.
“I feel ugly, I am ugly”“I feel hopeless right now, therefore my situation must be hopeless”
04:00 - Mind Reading - Making assumptions about other people’ thoughts and actions without seeking evidence.
“I can tell they think I am a loser”
“”I messed up that interview - I could see it in their eyes”
04:13 - Fortune Telling Error - Predicting an outcome and assuming it as fact. This can be self-fulfilling as it can limit behavioural change.
“I’ve always been anxious - I’ll never be able to change”
“I know this relationship is going to fail”
“I always end up dating abusers”
04:28 - Should Statements - Setting yourself up to fail by applying a should, ought or must statement. This can create unrealistic expectations or yourself and others. It doesn’t allow for responsiveness to new evidence.
“I shouldn’t get angry”
“I must lose weight to be more attractive”
04:44 - Magnification/Minimisation - Exaggerating the importance of negative information/experiences whilst reducing the importance of positive information and experiences.
“Everyone said they loved the presentation but I stumbled over the intro - I’ve ruined the event”
“I had spinach in my teeth - the interview was great but they’ll think I am a slob!”
Tell me in the comments if you experience any of these irrational automatic thoughts?
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