Stand-Up Comedy - I am Middle Eastern
Here are the stand-up comedy jokes in the video.
Joke #1
My name is Matin from Matin Comedy and here is stand-up comedy in my living room. My parents and I are Kurdish political refugees from Iraq and it's hard being Middle Eastern because my friends ask me stupid questions. They ask me why gas is going up. I'm like, "why would I know?" If you keep making me mad, its going to keep going up. I do know.
Joke #2
Middle Eastern people get a lot of bad press. Every time a Middle Eastern person does something bad on the news, I'm like "Crap, the next month, I have to pretend to be Mexican." My Spanish sucks, I'm like, "Hola, mi llamo es Miguel, donde esta biblioteca." I took 4 years of high school Spanish and all I can reemember is Donde Esta Biblioteca which means where is the library. How is that suppose to help me if I am in Tijuana getting stabbed because I want a beer and what does that look like? "Donde esta biblioteca? Donde esta?" And the guy stabbing me is correcting my Spanish because I am not even saying it right, he is like, "Senior, it's donde esta LA biblioteca and actually its a formal relationship so its usted donde esta bilblioteca." Every time I do that joke I can't help but think there is a Mexican teacher teaching high school students English for the first time and he is teaching something equally dumb because they don't know, he is like, "Mira, repeata, there after me lucky charms." The Mexican students are like, "They are after me Lucky Charms." They come over to America in a poor part of town and get stabbed while yelling, "They are after me Lucky Charms." The guy stabbing them says, "They are after MY Lucky Charms... and they're magically delicious."
Joke #3
I love my dad but he is cheap. My dad is so cheap that when he dies, he is going to walk towards the light and turn it off. Thank you so much for watching please like, comment, and share. I am trying to get a stand-up special and that really helps. Thank you again and have a great day!
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