Stand-Up Comedy - Halloween, Doctor, and Middle Eastern Jokes
My parents and I are Middle Eastern immigrants and here are some jokes from my stand-up comedy set.
Joke #1
Hi, this is Matin from Matin Comedy and here is "stand-up comedy in my living room." My family and I are Kurdish political refugees who came here from Iraq. When we moved to America, my dad didn't understand Halloween and it scared him. The doorbell would ring and he would hide, "Matin, Spider-Man is here to rob us." Dad, they just want candy. We don't have candy, give them our VCR and your brother. Mom is gonna kill you. You're right... keep the VCR. My dad wanted to celebrate Halloween the following year but he still didn't get it. Matin, I put on ski mask and went as a robber! Dad, it's July. Oh, that is why they gave me so much money at the bank.
Joke #2
My dad's dream was for me to be a doctor. My dad wanted me to be a doctor so bad, he just loved anything that had the word doctor in it. One time he caught me listening to music with a ton of cussing and was like, "Matin, what is this?" I'm like, "Dad it's Dr. Dre." He's like, "Very good! Make sure you drink a Dr. Pepper and watch Dr. Phil. I told my dad I like Dr. Dre because he has great music. My dad was like, "I could be a rapper. We came to America to escape from Saddam now I'm trying to hide from your mom. You have to find a girl so you can get married, I want to have grand kids before I get buried. You don't want to be a doctor, you want to tell jokes. The only thing that's funny is now your very broke. (fold arms) I have a brother who is a doctor and that sucks. I asked my dad, "Do you love my brother more than me? He is like, "Don't be silly, of course I do."
Joke #3
My dad has a thick Middle Eastern accent and when people would ask him where he was from, he would make up an answer. People are like, "Sir, where are you from." He was like, "I'm from Canada... really what part of Canada?" My dad would get confused and be like, "ahhh, Baghdad." There's no Baghdad, Canada. Thank you so much for watching. Please like, comment, and share. I am trying to get a stand-up special and that really helps. Thank you again and have a great day.
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