If Life Is a Game, I Don't Want To Play It
Life is an open-world, real-time strategy game released at the dawn of the universe, set in a vast and ever-expanding environment. Developed by Universe, it offers players a unique experience, characterized by its unpredictable and immersive gameplay. Critics praise its intricate mechanics and depth, though reviews are mixed due to its difficulty and lack of a clear tutorial. Players navigate through various stages, each with its own challenges and rewards, striving to achieve personal goals and discover their purpose.
Sounds good, doesn't it? You're wrong.
Turns out, Life was extremely unbalanced. Would you play an unfair game? If I start playing a game, then realize it's broken, or that I'm not having fun, or that people are taking it too seriously, I stop playing it.
What sort of f*cked-up game is this? I didn't even realize I was playing ten (or probably even more) years after I started. I'm forced to play it.
In other games like Poker or Inscryption, you also don't choose your starting hand, but there's a clear goal. There's a clear win and lose. If you lose, you can try again. Can you try again in The Game of Life? Sure, but you're risking corrupting your one-and-only save file in the process.
What sort of game doesn't let you choose the difficulty? The only difficulty Life has is Dead Space's Hardcore mode. If you die, that's it. Game over, and your console self-destructs in the process. And you can't get a new one.
If Life is a game, I don't want to play it.
DISCLAIMER: This is not about unaliving myself. This is about challenging this nonsensical metaphor people keep tossing around to make you feel "inspired."
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