Prove It For You (A Math Love Song)
My poor attempt at making a "Finite Simple Group (of Order 2)" for a new generation of mathematicians
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Lyrics:
(Verse 1)
I don't wanna waste my time, staring at a picture of you
If I don't have to
Cuz ever since I took the time to check your arXiv
I've been thinking about you
I just like the way you move and the way you prove
And the way you make conclusions
And you know that I've been hooked ever since I got
To Proposition 3.2
And I think I've made a major breakthrough
(Chorus)
I don't think I'll write a song
To make my dream come true
A dinner date just feels wrong
But somehow I'll get through
Poetry, not a single line
I won't wine and I won't dine
There's a million things that I could do
But I think I'll prove a theorem for you
(Verse 2)
I don't wanna waste my time singing songs
About my desire to date her
Cuz I'm about to lose my mind thinking of her
Girl, make me your collaborator
I've been studying the fundamental group of love
Trying to figure out the generators
I'm not a smooth romantic, at best I'm C^1
I'm just a math content creator
I've been channeling my inner Euler
Looking for a way to spoil her
Serving a theorem for her
With a lemma that I'll pour her
Step into the room like a Riemannian waiter
I'm looking for a tip, no calculator
(Chorus)
I don't think I'll write a song
To make my dream come true
A dinner date just feels wrong
But somehow I'll get through
Poetry, not a single line
I won't wine and I won't dine
There's a million things that I could do
But I think I'll prove a theorem for you
(Bridge)
I don't wanna win a grant from the NSF
I don't need a Fields medal / a millennium check
Forget Pythagorean or Dedekind's criterion
I've got a fundamental theorem -- let me catch my breath
Here's a lemma I'll send her, I'll even throw in a proof
Treat her better than ever, that's a mathematical truth
I'll inject a truth serum through my LaTeX files
Bout to drop the hottest theorem since Andrew Wiles
(Chorus 2)
I don't think I'll write a song
To make my dream come true
A dinner date just feels wrong
But somehow I'll get through
Poetry, not a single line
I won't wine and I won't dine
There's a million things that I could do
But I think I'll prove a theorem for you
Romantically I'm not that strong
So all of this is new
I wish the arXiv had DM's
That I could slide into
My theorem might be 2+2
It might say that the sky is blue
It might not even pass peer review
But I think I'll prove a theorem for you