era xii: your power - billie eilish (cover)
y’all already know the deal with this so let’s just like get into it you know
i got Billie Eilish’s “Happier than Ever” in vinyl for christmas last year and this is my favorite song from the album. it really shows that Billie’s voice and messaging have matured so much since she started in like 2016, but it also shows how she’s staying to her roots and it’s like miss girl ATE with this one.
i do think her company’s copyright policy is a little much, like i tried to put the audio from this song into one of those playlist videos like “pov you vent after fifty million years” or whatever, one of those
but then the video got taken down. twice. so uh yeah if i disappear from YouTube this time then you know what happened, mr ceo decided to banish me for using a nanosecond of this song
anyway though, that’s why i’m not using the regular audio from the song. the guitar is a cover from another Youtuber, because i can’t play guitar to save my skin. here’s that cover:
• Billie Eilish - Your Power // Fingerstyle ...
i wanted to pick this song because i feel like it connects with not only a certain someone who shall not be mentioned (if you know this channel at all you know who it is) but also to a few people i actually know.
my friend group has had to kick out a few people over the years because a lot of them ended up being real creeps, like one of them drew Kagamine Len and Rin furry !n(€st and supported another friend who $@‘d another one of my friends. you can’t write this stuff, istg
but this last one was a bit more personal. they weren’t a creep or anything (well to my other friends they were but i didn’t really see it that way) but they had a falling out with everyone else, and because i didn’t know about what was happening and kept talking to them, they went around saying i was one of their goons.
the personal part comes in when i found out that they were just using me to fuel their RAGING nsfw addiction. they were commissioning me for a spicy fanfic between their oc and itto from genshin (that draft is gone from the earth, don’t ask)
and considering that they not only swindled another friend out of 20$ and refused to pay them after two months, and that i KNOW they have an issue with nsfw, i just didn’t feel comfortable fueling their addiction. i don’t talk about it much, but as someone who’s struggled with a $€x addiction before, i know how bad it can get and i really didn’t want to fuel it for them.
beyond that i just felt a little used, like apparently they only talked to me because i wrote $mut on AO3, and i get it my style is nice to read, even for myself, but it’s like… that’s all i am to you?
again i don’t talk about it a lot so i don’t expect them to know, but i’ve struggled with my $€x addiction for years and i’ve really tried to break off from that lifestyle, and after everything i’ve done they still just see me as a way to satisfy themselves? that’s really all i am to you?
needless to say, i’ve stopped writing nsfw since then. and i never broke it off with that person, but we stopped talking, and i don’t see myself starting again.
if you’re reading this, i don’t want to say “get help” because i know how harmful that can be, but, honestly, i think you need a self check. don’t take advantage of your friends. surround yourself with people who will actually care about you and tell you when you mess up. and at least try to fix your $€x problem- i know from first hand experience it’s hard but it is possible, so at least try.
this got a lot more personal than i wanted it to, but i’ve just wanted to get it off my mind. i don’t like venting because i feel like my problems are so much smaller than everyone else’s, but if anything, it just feels nice to finally say what I’ve been thinking.
thank you guys for reading and listening to the cover. i’ll be back with the next one, whatever that is. stay safe.
Rey ❤️