Personal Boundaries. Defense Without Offense.
Let's talk about personal boundaries. How to establish and defend them assertively, without resorting to aggression.
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00:00 Introduction
01:28 "How do I tell a friend who invited me that I don't feel comfortable staying with her?" Link to a video about personal boundaries. Physical and emotional boundaries. An attempt to simulate a violation of emotional boundaries.
09:21 An example from Irina's life – how she resolved the issue of her and her friend's personal boundaries. 11:51 "Cat Roost" - what visiting guests were like in Soviet times. Attitudes toward personal boundaries in childhood among older people.
14:03 "What should I do if a parent says something I don't like?" When we have to put up with what our parents do. When parents have to set limits for their children, and how to do so without causing trauma.
19:18 Parent-child territory.
20:17 One of my close friends started inviting her new boyfriend to a get-together of close friends. How did this affect their friendship?
22:58 Are etiquette rules what regulate behavior within personal boundaries? What is emotional insecurity?
24:32 Is "putting up with a little patience" a violation of one's boundaries?
27:05 Are personal and professional boundaries the same thing? Why are some people allowed to protect their boundaries at work, while others aren't?
30:32 A special thank you from Irina to her mother-in-law for her sensitivity and respect for her boundaries.
32:53 "What should you do if you set your boundaries, and then everyone turns their back on you?" Natural selection of those who don't respect our boundaries.
35:09 "So, no one owes anyone anything?" What parents and children should and shouldn't owe each other. What a parent puts in, that's what they'll get from their child.
38:09 Building your life next to people who don't respect your boundaries is like building your house next to a volcano.
39:08 What if, for health reasons, you can't live separately from those who violate your boundaries?
41:00 Who is responsible for building relationships between parent and child?
43:00 "When you tell your relatives about your professional successes, you see pursed lips, raised eyebrows, and eyes looking into the corner. Or a condescending smile. They devalued you without saying anything. Is this a boundary violation?"
46:05 "When people talk about defense, it implies an attack from the other side. How do you not react aggressively to such attacks?"
49:06 Personal boundaries for people with ASD. The difference between personal and social boundaries.
51:18 "Should you ignore a gaslighter's manipulation? Should you continue to prove yourself right?" Link to a video about gaslighting.
53:01 "The guy proposed relationship terms that aren't suitable for the girl. Is this a boundary violation?"
54:46 "I give in to manipulation, I do what people want from me, often against their will." Why it's difficult, but doable, to protect your boundaries.
57:43 "I set boundaries with my narcissistic mother for the first time. She reacted as usual – she stopped communicating with me. A friend recently told me that it wasn't me who actually set the boundaries, but my mother. Is that true?"
59:09 What should I do if my grandmother violates my boundaries, manipulating her grandchildren?
01:00:57 "Relatives are pushing their own agenda; they don't hear the word 'no' until you raise your voice. And these are relatives. I'm afraid of the New Year's holidays."
01:02:17 How to distance yourself from toxic relatives you can't leave. Link to the video "Self-Defense. How to Protect Yourself from Toxic Relatives."
01:03:57 "How to respond correctly to a mother who is constantly pestering me?"
01:04:39 "I like helping people, but it can lead to burnout." How do I find a balance between helping and taking care of myself?
01:05:57 The cat taught me how to protect my personal boundaries.
01:06:46 "How can I set personal boundaries calmly, so that people get it?"
01:07:35 "Mom said that my child still can't walk because of what I feed him. I was left with a really bad feeling about that conversation. Is there any point in trying to prevent such conversations in the future?"
01:09:07 "Does it make sense to start setting boundaries in a marital (codependent) relationship if the husband insists on fulfilling his marital duties? Due to age-related changes, I no longer feel the same desire as before, and it's very difficult for him to change his habits. As a result of the conflict, I have a strong sense of guilt."
01:11:46 How does establishing boundaries between a psychologist and a therapist heal? Does the lack of physical contact between them matter?
01:14:52 What happens to personal boundaries if I physically feel someone else's pain?
01:17:05 Can a person not want to commun...