numb [vent pmv] tw
please read and watch.
i started this edit when i was going through a really hard time a couple months ago. but i finally came back to it and finished it. christmas was the other day, i had a ton of fun but after it’s over i always hit this huge low. with depression it’s what happens; you go through lows and highs with your mood. so after having a huge amount of energy and spending time with people, being surrounded, i find myself this evening and now at night just feeling really bland and distressed with the future. the song perfectly describes how i’m feeling, the lyrics say exactly what i want to say. and overall then, it’s incredibly relatable and really good too. my sleep schedule during these past weeks has not been the best either. so many nights i’ve been up till 5am. struggling to sleep due to a number of things. i end up feeling actually really depressed during the day but just naturally distract my brain from it’s sadness. in reality i don’t think i’ve felt too truly okay lately, i guess i could say i just feel “naturally” better. but it still feels so hard to make it through, at times it seems. i’m tired of my tourette’s. i’m tired of my ocd, my adhd. the things that make my mind feel unstable and imbalanced. the things that cause me physical pain too. a whole debilitating toll on my body.
yes i’m recovering from really heavy things i’ve been through, but every time a year ends, i’m left with a feeling of not knowing what’s coming next. and that upsets me. i just feel numb, i don’t really know how else to describe it. sometimes it can’t even be expressed with words because that’s just how it is. i’m really proud of this edit though, i really like how it turned out, and how i can express myself so well with twilight. everything just feels black and white for me lately as some say, so the filter i use throughout my pmv is me expressing that too. hope you watch all the way through.
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audio: mine; numb by 8 graves [slowed]
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#ventedit #mylittlepony #twilightsparkle #editing #music #numb8graves