How to Make Small Talk With a Hidden Coaching Technique
In this video, we cover a simple and practical tool that you can use to engage in small talk with someone when you know nothing about them, or when you don't connect a lot with the person, and that technique is... doing personal coaching! (Or at least, a simplified version of it, naturally).
00:00:00 Beginning
00:00:11 Introduction
00:00:33 Insight #1: Ask Questions
00:01:30 Insight #2: Always Positive
00:01:52 Insight #3: The Deeper, The Better
00:02:40 Insight #4: Asking Their Opinion
00:04:13 Insight #5: Implementation Intention
00:04:51 Insight #6: Valuable Information
00:05:54 Conclusion
00:06:57 Closing
In this video, we cover six main insights in terms of how to use personal coaching to engage in small talk with the person:
The first is that you do this by asking questions. That is, you coach them by asking about their future, their potential, how can they improve, what are the obstacles, and so on. You need no prior knowledge of them to do this, and you can take what they reply and ask more questions;
The second insight is that this technique is always positive. That is, by focusing on their future and their potential, almost every single person will have a positive feeling. Focusing on their future success, their future career, their next holiday, or others makes the conversation positive;
The third insight is that the deeper you go, the better. You can just ask someone, "Where will you be in 5 years?" or, "How is this specific personality trait an obstacle to you proceeding further?". The more you challenge them and the deeper you go, the more valuable the conversation is. Naturally, you decide how deep you want to go;
The fourth insight is that you should ask their opinion on their future. That is, by asking these questions, you're asking about their future, and what they think of it. And asking about their opinion is a persuasion technique by itself - because it makes the person focus on themselves and how they see things. This makes you more likeable and persuasive in this conversation;
The fifth insight is that you are leveraging the persuasion principle of implementation intention. That is, you focus on the details of doing something instead of just asking "Will you do it, yes or no?". By doing this, the person visualises it and crystalises the details in their mind;
The sixth and final insight is that this nets you valuable information. Talking about their goals, needs, dreams tells you a lot about the person, and this is an information goldmine in case you're planning on pitching to them or selling them something later on;
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