BMX gifted me suffering
BMX gifted me the ability to endure and push through both physical and psychological pain.
But it came at a cost.
We live in a dual reality: we only recognize “good” because we know “bad.” There’s no joy without sadness, no anger without bliss. If you suppress the negative emotions, you suppress the good emotions.
In BMX, I developed an adaptive skill—the ability to set aside my emotions to chase my goals. This drive opened doors I’m forever grateful for. But the tools and skills that got me here won’t take me to where I want to be now.
I’m realizing that this skill of disconnecting from my feelings transferred into other areas of my life where it wasn’t necessary—and it actually disconnected me from my truest self. I lived by the mantra “mind over matter,” and while I still believe in aspects of it, I see now how the lack of context led me to ignore my body’s signals at critical times.
Whenever I got injured, I was forced to take time off, reflect, and re-strategize—a forced slowdown that only happened when I had no other options. This “go, go, go” mindset helped me succeed, but it was also an escape from confronting how I felt inside (typically a fear of being rejected) and the thoughts I tried to avoid (“I suck...I’m not good enough....I won’t succeed, etc.”).
For so long, I believed my value was tied to my ability to perform, produce, and prove others wrong. Anger and the desire to be seen drove me.
Today, I’m learning to integrate that skill of enduring pain with the awareness needed to recognize when it’s time to slow down, listen to my body, and regulate my nervous system.
For much of my life, I overrode my body’s signals with the unconscious belief that my feelings didn’t matter. And sure, there’s a time and place for pushing through. But my approach often meant denying my reality entirely.
When you deny your reality, you only add more stress and create more problems.
When you learn to truly listen to the signals from your body, you empower yourself to make intentional choices without the residue of resentment. This alignment brings more confidence, focus, energy, and joy into your life.
Josh P. 💚🧠✌🏼
Music by @rowlan