Healing from Manipulation & Betrayal: Calm Trauma Flooding and Return to Connection
During relationship crises one can feel flooded and overwhelmed by their partners lies, manipulation, abuse, and poor choices. You have to take deliberate steps to practice healthy coping and fully process your thoughts and feelings as you navigate "next best steps forward." Kristin Snowden, MA, LMFT, CDWF is a licensed therapist and coach that specializes in helping individuals and couples in crisis after infidelity, emotional abuse, and/or uncovering addiction. Betrayed partners get hit with two tidal waves from the trauma: First, the pain of discovering the betrayal and all the chaos that ensues, then they struggle with feeling hijacked and overwhelmed by their emotions and triggers as the continued crisis unfolds. Kristin offers four steps one can use to process through overwhelming emotions and triggers and get back to healing. The four steps are 1) Understand the CONTENT or triggering event 2) Explore the CONTEXT that includes the trauma response, the shame stories, and the painful history related to the trigger 3) Bring back CHOICE and decide how you WANT to respond to this trigger 4) COMMUNICATE your fully processed feelings and experience with your partner (when its safe to do so). This is for anyone in relationship crisis exploring answers and a path to healing and recovery. Relationship crisis can be spurred from uncovering an unknown addiction, cheating/infidelity, porn use, and other forms of betrayal. The constant chaos and instability brought on by lies and manipulation can feel like its taking over your life. You don't have to go through this alone.
(This is educational, NOT THERAPY)
Resources and Links:
🌐 More Healing Material
https://www.kristinsnowden.com
✨ Join Kristin’s LIVE Small Groups for Betrayed Partners and Beyond
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💬 NEW! Live Crisis Consultations with Kristin
https://www.kristinsnowden.com/crisis...
📘 Free eBook: A Guide to Navigating Relationship Crisis
https://www.kristinsnowden.com/relati...
🎧 Life Anonymous: 12 Steps to Heal and Transform Your Life (Audiobook Available)
https://www.kristinsnowden.com/life-a...
🎓 Resiliency and Recovery Masterclass and Workbook
https://www.kristinsnowden.com/the-re...
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Timestamps:
1:24 Betrayed partners (BP) have to face the pain of discovering lies at the hand of their trusted partner then they have to struggle through feeling overwhelmed and in constant crisis.
3:00 Constant crisis and trauma can lead betrayed partners to act outside of their character and "who they tend to be"
4:23 The emotional flooding and overwhelm can cause a BP to get trapped in a betraying partner's blaming narrative
6:00 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy "Think - Feel - Behave" chart, goal to fully and healthily process thoughts and feelings
7:03 The Four Steps to stop overwhelm: Content, Context, Choice, and Communication
11:02 Having and experiencing messy emotions is NEVER an excuse for your partner's acting out behaviors
12:45 Step 1 Content is identifying what's happening that is NOT OK
14:58 Step 2 Context is understanding the trauma, shame, stories and history behind what's happening now
17:21 Feelings are chemicals and hormones that create body sensations
20:10 Addicts can use this 4 step process
22:26 Defining shame
25:26 Why you need to fully process thoughts and feelings rather than numb, ignore, distract, and blame
26:30 Step 3 Choice is exploring how you want to respond and cope after they've been processed. What's a congruent, productive response?
30:08 Step 4 Communication to engage your partner, only if he/she has shown evidence of being able to talk about hard things, take accountability and grow from hard conversations
32:24 Process in a group setting if your partner is emotionally unavailable.
KRISTIN'S FREE LIVE WEBINARS EVERY ODD MONTH, THE SECOND WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH AT 9:30 AM (pacific time) through SexandRelationshipHealing.com . Zoom link: https://zoom.us/j/244109360
#betrayaltraumarecovery #couplesincrisis #couplestherapy #addictionrecovery #Infidelity #crisismanagement #healthyrelationships