When Crisis Hits Use the 3 C's to Help with Messy Emotions
When crisis hits, emotions can feel overwhelming and hard to manage. It can cause you to feel out of control or do things out of character. Kristin Snowden, MA, LMFT, CDWF is a licensed therapist and coach that specializes in helping individuals and couples in crisis after infidelity, emotional abuse, and/or uncovering addiction issues. She provides education and tools to help you better manage the overwhelming emotions that wash over you after uncovering unknown addictions, betrayal, infidelity or other relationship traumas. The 3 C's of managing and processing messy emotions are understand the CONTENT of the triggering event, the CONTEXT of why its so triggering/upsetting, and the CHOICE you can assert in the situation so you can regain a sense of control and move toward solution. This is for anyone in relationship crisis exploring answers and a path to healing and recovery.
(This is educational, NOT THERAPY)
Resources and Links:
🌐 More Healing Material
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Timestamps:
1:22 Emotional abuse, manipulation, lying, and uncertainty in a relationship can lead one to feel out-of-control
2:00 They can also help addicts and betrayers who tend to struggle with connecting with their emotions and figure out better ways to cope
2:50 We all need to practice becoming more emotionally intelligent
3:30 Having big emotions are ok, your emotions have nothing to do with your partners lying, betrayal, cheating, etc.
4:45 Emotional intelligence and healthy coping skills are learned in your environment, role-modeled by people and culture around you
6:55 Understand the CONTENT of the present experience triggering an emotional response. What just happened?
The CONTEXT is the bigger picture of what's being triggered inside you--your trauma response and your "shame voices"
Consider the CHOICES you have when dealing with the situation
9:30 If you don't take these steps to process your emotions, the emotions will control you and write the story
10:13-10:22 The goal is to fully process what happened, choose your reaction/options/coping skills, and practice empathy/compassion toward yourself in crisis
11:40 CONTENT
13:04 Feelings vs. thoughts
13:46 ignoring, numbing, distracting from uncomfortable emotions
14:50 Ask "What's happened that's caused these feelings? What am I mad/sad/hurt/angry/scared about?"
15:58 CONTEXT based on history or trauma wiring
16:50 Trauma wires around overwhelming, scary, shame-filled experiences
17:33 Ask "When/where did I learn this is a bad/stressful/scary thing? Whats my history around this issue?" Separate fact from distortions
19:45 Reality check the "threat"/trauma response
20:30 Couples can repair more productively when they move from the content of the problem to the context
21:15 Shame is part of the CONTEXT. Shame focuses on who we are--how our flaws, our short-comings, our less-than-ideal parts are causing bad things to happen
24:10 Ask "How am I afraid of being perceived by others?"
26:00 The difference between trauma triggers vs shame voices
28:00 Bring back CHOICE
41:48 Importance of group work after relationship crisis
KRISTIN'S FREE LIVE WEBINARS EVERY ODD MONTH, THE SECOND WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH AT 9:30 AM (pacific time) through SexandRelationshipHealing.com . Zoom link: https://zoom.us/j/244109360
#betrayaltraumarecovery #couplesincrisis #couplestherapy #addictionrecovery #Infidelity #crisismanagement #healthyrelationships