Betrayal Bonds: Are You in an Exploitive Relationship Based on Intensity Rather Than Intimacy?
Kristin Snowden, MA, LMFT, CDWF is a licensed therapist and coach that specializes in helping individuals and couples in crisis due to hidden addictions, infidelity, or other forms of betrayal. This is a free webinar offered to the Wetonglen community. Kristin explores Patrick Carnes, PhD's book, Betrayal Bonds: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, to help the audience explore the concepts of betrayal or trauma bonds and relationships that are based on intensity rather than intimacy. Many people who are in relationship crisis after betrayal will ask two common questions: 1) Why did my cheating/sex addict partner seem so obsessed with his/her acting out behaviors and/or affair partner(s)? and 2) Am I now stuck in an unhealthy cycle of intensity rather than intimacy with my partner? Both of these questions can be answered by exploring Pat Carne's Intimacy vs. Intensity model. Kristin defines betrayal/trauma bonds, describes signs and symptoms that one is in an unhealthy trauma bond, and steps to stop the cycle and move toward a healthier, more intimate connection. The nature of uncovering an unknown addicts or other betrayals will throw a relationship into an intense cycle but its important to explore if there is a chronic, persistent pattern of intensity-seeking in the relationship rather than a relationship based on secure, predictable, and vulnerable intimacy.
The BOUNDARIES chart and Intimacy vs. Intensity handouts are available at https://www.kristinsnowden.com/2022-c...
(This is educational, NOT THERAPY)
Resources and Links:
🌐 More Healing Material
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✨ Join Kristin’s LIVE Small Groups for Betrayed Partners and Beyond
https://www.kristinsnowden.com/live-w...
💬 NEW! Live Crisis Consultations with Kristin
https://www.kristinsnowden.com/crisis...
📘 Free eBook: A Guide to Navigating Relationship Crisis
https://www.kristinsnowden.com/relati...
🎧 Life Anonymous: 12 Steps to Heal and Transform Your Life (Audiobook Available)
https://www.kristinsnowden.com/life-a...
🎓 Resiliency and Recovery Masterclass and Workbook
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Timestamps:
:50 Trauma Bonds are defined as bonds that occur in the presence of danger, shame, or exploitation
1:10 Exploring the difference between relationships that are built upon a foundation of healthy intimacy versus intensity-seeking behaviors
1:50 This is helpful to betrayed partners as it helps them understand their addict partner's acting out cycle, the "why" underneath it
2:57 These signs and symptoms may help you assess the health of your relationship and explore potential attachment issues
4:27 The difference between a "season" of intense moments in a relationship versus a persistent, concerning pattern
5:55 How to help you stop the cycle
6:19 Symptoms of trauma bonds
8:11 How trauma bonding is the opposite of ideal, secure attachment
8:20-10:09 Signs you're in a betrayal bond relationship
10:33 The differences between relationships based on intimacy versus intensity
10:45 What is "intimacy"--INTO ME YOU SEE, honest, vulnerable connection
11:39 Why addicts struggle with real intimacy
12:28 Addicts choose intense/obsessive connections with a substance or acting out behavior rather than a balanced, vulnerable relationship with humans
13:30 The different dynamics, behaviors, choices, communication in relationships based on intensity instead of intimacy
17:00 The role stress, pain, and discomfort plays in helping one change, adapt in life
21:45 A message for the betrayed partner working to repair their relationship with the betrayer
23:00. Tools to change patterns to move away from intensity to intimacy
40:50. Why addicts must do group work
KRISTIN'S FREE LIVE WEBINARS EVERY ODD MONTH, THE SECOND WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH AT 9:30 AM (pacific time) through SexandRelationshipHealing.com . Zoom link: https://zoom.us/j/244109360
#betrayaltraumarecovery #couplesincrisis #couplestherapy #addictionrecovery #Infidelity #crisismanagement #healthyrelationships