To Lead Best, Put All Your Emotions To Work
I just finished a coaching session with a woman who wants her team to perform at a higher level. What's so cool about working with her is that she's willing to challenge the way that she leads. She's willing to try many different approaches, even if they're uncomfortable. What we got into today was developing this internal sense of self-respect, and to expect people to rise to the occasion, to expect people to make her happy.
Leaders often shoulder more of the burden of their organization than their staff need or want, resulting in everyone being less satisfied. This can be the result of avoidance; rather than confronting someone about what they aren’t doing, an empathetic leader might take on a task or downplay its importance. That’s often not the best solution.
She's really good at being energized. And she expects that as she leads with that kind of energy, everybody else is going to follow. It often works for her, but not in every instance. We explored the value of letting out just a little bit of displeasure on her face, if somebody doesn't do something that they could have known they needed to handle—a slight eye roll from her, for example, rather than saying “It's okay” or “Here, let me fix that for you.” The idea is that she shows not a whole lot of anger but just a little displeasure.
Historically, this woman has been someone who lived doing for others what she wants done for herself, and she brought that habit to her leadership. Now, we are seeing another facet of herself in her leadership: She gets upset about things, and it’s okay for people to know that. In fact, as she is showing her displeasure, her team is responding to it positively. They like knowing what makes her happy and unhappy.
For a long time, this leader thought she had to set herself aside in order to lead. It's so wonderful to see her embracing all aspects of her aggression, and at the same time, seeing her team rise up around her in response.
I hope that you can take something from this today. Cheers.
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