Slowing down to connect deeply & deliver powerfully
I just had a coaching session with this really bright guy. He’s in it, 100 percent. And he’s moving in his career—he’s taking on a sales position where winning people over will be critical. And he’s going to have to get his team united to make this happen. He’s going to be doing more presentations, and his job in large part will be to get people excited about the product that he is delivering.
Here’s the thing: He’s a very analytical guy. He always has the right answers to things, but as you may have heard me say before, that’s often not enough. He’ll be rifling through the room in his brain where the information is to bring it back down, and he may not even be making enough eye contact with people. To address this, he and I talk about eye contact, about slowing down, about making sure he is checking in with the people he is talking to. These simple things make all the difference, but they are often overlooked. So I work with him on these and with one more, very important secret, which I will also share with you.
This pattern I am describing is not just him, by the way; it’s a lot of us. Having the right answer is a common way of avoiding the uncomfortable moments in any conversation, the normal, human, awkward moments. But to connect with people, the secret is to not avoid them. Let them happen. Give yourself the time and awareness to know why they happen. Let yourself feel a little uncomfortable, and be in that moment, and connect. Make sure everyone is present and engaged. Take that moment to do it because it could very well be the most real moment of your conversations.
My client said he has started trying this, and he is surprised at how quickly he is seeing a difference. People are more engaged. Even his daughters are responding to him more. He is totally excited. And it’s making a difference.
Allow yourself to be uncomfortable—and then engage. Stretch into that discomfort, and you will find that the payoff is huge.
I hope this is helpful. Cheers.
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