When Memories Blend: Mom’s Dementia Moment
Dementia can be such an enigma.
Mom has never before mistaken a photo of me as a toddler for her sister, Janet. This is understandable, given she’s the eldest of four girls. There’s something incredibly endearing about this. It felt like a chance to join her in a moment from her past, as an older sister.
I found it important to validate her in that moment and simply accompany her on her journey of memory. In my view, there’s little benefit in correcting someone with dementia. I prefer to let my Mom live in peace, rather than risk moments of embarrassment. Dementia doesn’t strip away her dignity, nor does it spare her feelings of embarrassment at times.
#IRememberWhen #DementiaAwareness #ASL #Coda #Caregiver #VascularDementia #Alzheimers #Deaf
[In this video, MJ, a white female in her late 40s with a riyal blue turtleneck sweater and shoulder-length wavy blonde hair, interacts with her mother Carmen, an 81-year-old white female who is Deaf and living with dementia. Carmen, sitting in her wheelchair, recognizes the person in the camera as someone from her past. MJ shows her a photo of MJ and her sister as toddlers. Carmen thinks the toddler is her younger sister Janet. Then, MJ shows Carmen a picture of Carmen with her three sisters as adults, but Carmen doesn’t recognize Janet as an adult. MJ validates Carmen’s belief that the toddler photo is indeed Janet. Carmen agrees, noting the photo is from earlier in life compared to the adult sisters’ photo. The video ends with MJ signing, “Hmmm…Maybe I do look like Aunt Janet.” MJ gently rubs Carmen’s arm, and the video closes with the caption “#IRememberWhen.”]