How to Be More Assertive
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Assertiveness is a behavior. So is non-assertiveness. These behavior patterns are all habits: we begin practicing them very early on, and by the time we're adults we've gotten really good at doing one or the other. They have become our comfort zone, in other words, and we will resist doing anything different. But leadership development depends on breaking out of our comfort zones to begin practicing the skills we want to develop, not just the skills we already have. It begins by acknowledging that changing behavior patterns is a hard thing to do, and choosing to do what is hard over doing what comes easily. It also depends on recognizing that our behavioral style is not our identity: what we do is not who we are. Leadership is deciding on what we would like to do, and then choosing to practice that behavior every day and at every chance we get.