What Is Your Love Pattern? Learned Attachment Patterns of Love | Pursuer or Distancer
There are several common love styles. You've probably heard of 'attachment styles', but what is it really? Well, it are common interpersonal patterns or internal maps that people form on how to have relationships with others (including love and romantic relationships)! Turns out, there are 4 (relatively) universal patters! (and sometimes culturally different patterns too)
I talk about the secure attachment style and insecure attachment styles; pursuing (anxious) and distancing (avoidant) styles. Attachment styles are on a scale, from secure to insecure. Most people are insecure about something (and that is completely okay!).
⏳ Timestamps ⏳
0:00 Attachment Styles?
0:30 What is attachment?
1:08 During in childhood or trauma
1:29 Example: How is it formed?
3:03 Secure - Insecure attachment scale
3:30 Statistics secure v.s. insecure
3:53 Secure pattern develop?
4:13 Insecure pattern develop?
4:39 Insecure patterns explained
5:03 Pursuer 'map', anxiously attached
5:54 Distancer 'map, anxiously avoidant attached
6:59 More on this in the playlist!
This video is a bit more abstract as it's a big subject we are talking about. Down below there's a playlist on The Pursuer & Distancer! Going more in-depth into their individual patterns and sexual drives.
I have used the following book to guide this conversation:
Cassidy, J., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Handbook of Attachment, Third Edition: Guilford Publications.
I am a Counselling Psychologist in my Doctoral training and I make videos on the topics of Relationships, Communication and Sex. While you're here, subscribe, follow me on Instagram and check out this next video
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Disclaimer: Please note that the videos on this channel are for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional psychological therapy. Thoughts and opinions expressed in videos are my own.