I Knew You Were Trouble [Five]
http://www.polyvore.com/452/set?id=75...
"So?" Joe asks as he joins me in my room. He sits on my bed and I walk over and jump on the bed
"You really want to know dont you?" I ask
"I do" He nods
"Alright" I take a deep breath "I was 14 when I started dating, he was on older guy, he was 27 at the time and I felt all these different emotions when I was with him. I liked him but I didnt love him but everytime I was with him I felt as though I needed to please him, sex was the first thing on his mind, it had me in so much pain the first him but after that he was rough, too rough for a 14 year old. When I was 15 he killed someone, my best friend. She caught us having sex, she was having sex with him too but he killed her. He heard the sirens, I called them and he put the knife in my hand, the knife dripping with her blood, she looked at me before she died. I will never get that look out of my mind. It turned out she was pregnant, he knew. She didnt tell anybody, not even me. He knew she was pregnant and he still killed her. I was arrested, he came to see me but I feared for my life. My parents bailed me out, they knew I didnt do it, they knew I wouldnt kill my best friend. I begged them not to bail me out. I begged them because I feared for my life, I knew I was next. I had to do something so I tried to do it myself, no one would listen to me so when I went to bed that night, i grabbed a razor from the bathroom and I pressed it deep into my arm. It killed and I screamed out in pain. I ended up in hospital for 3 weeks. I almost killed myself, If I did it a little bit deeper I would have killed myself. I was sent to rehab for it. They diagnosed me with depression. But it wasnt depression, I did it so I could get protection. I got out of rehab a year ago, everytime they wanted to let me go I acted up. I put on a scene so they made me stay"
"Demi I-"
"Dont" I stop him "Dont tell me your sorry, I dont need any pity or sympathy. Want me to tell you a secret?"
"Sure" He nods
"When I got out last year I went shopping. I brought clothes for the baby, her baby. I assumed it would be a girl so I brought her clothes and I wrapped them in baby girl paper. I took them to the grave and I sat there and cried for hours. It was the first time I grieved properly for her. She would have been an amazing mother even if she was only 14. She wouldnt have cared"
"I bet you'll be an amazing mother"
"I hope so" I smile slightly. I sit next to Joe and he wrap his arm around me
"You shouldnt feel bad about her death Demi. Remember her the way she would want you to. She'd want you to smile about her memory and laugh about the times you had together. Losing someone is hard but the memories we have of them are the strong"
"You know that im supposed to be helping you right?"
"Maybe we could help each other"
"Maybe" I sigh getting up "I dont know, life is so much harder then I thought it would be. Im in a dead end job which only just pays the rent and a couple of bills. Sometimes if I do extra hours, it pays for a monthly shop. I cant help but want more. I know im lucky, there are people out there with so much less than I have but is it that hard to want a nice house to live in, to be able to pay the rent and the bills, pay for food and have money left?"
"There's nothing wrong with that Demi. Find a job you love and you wont worry about what it pays, you wont care because your doing something you love"
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I'll be doing a marathon soon.
You can choose which on
Ordinary girl or Loving You